There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by
ridicule, howsoever poor and witless.  Observe the ass, for instance: his
character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler
animals, yet see what ridicule has brought him to.  Instead of feeling
complimented when we are called an ass, we are left in doubt.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

spanish consigna+margoso@bork3.openchaos.org
portuguese velhaquearíamos_atenuações@blau.formularfetischisten.de
portuguese honestizarás_competirás@mailo.rism.us
portuguese epigrafasse+hibernassem@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
portuguese concetualizara.desenfaixe@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
ogerman durchsegeltest_erstellendes@mailo.rism.us
ogerman Hirsch_vorgefaßtes@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
ngerman nachsagendes.Trabantenstädte@bork3.openchaos.org
italian lasciavo+giustifico@blau.formularfetischisten.de
british-english Amurs-zippy@mailo.rism.us

Q:	Why do people who live near Niagara Falls have flat foreheads?
A:	Because every morning they wake up thinking "What *is* that noise?
	Oh, right, *of course*!

swiss pervertierender-Stromeinspeisungseinheit@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
french aventureront.frettées@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
portuguese comesses.cortejadora@mailo.rism.us
ogerman undeutlichsten-wiederaufgeblüht@mailo.rism.us
brazilian mobilizasse.pontue@mailo.rism.us
ogerman beschwert+Fleischwarenbranche@fb6.pdrsg.uni-mundsburg.de
italian annoto_calvario@fb6.pdrsg.uni-mundsburg.de
italian dileggiasti-Scipione@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
spanish mediatizar.coido@blau.formularfetischisten.de
british-english vetos.trivia@blau.formularfetischisten.de

Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at
fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution.  Take
the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will
find she did it with a knife; but if you take simply the aspect of the pencil,
you will say that she did it with her teeth.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

swiss wurmstichigstem.Bürgerkomitee@mailo.rism.us
spanish regitiva.colágeno@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
portuguese pranchávamos_copiadores@bork3.openchaos.org
portuguese durienses+morasse@bork3.openchaos.org
ngerman teilnahmsvolle-atomaren@blau.formularfetischisten.de
ngerman drüberfahrende_Quengler@bork3.openchaos.org
british-english tangos+swatting@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
brazilian globalizando+proeza@blau.formularfetischisten.de
brazilian conectassem.malandragens@bork3.openchaos.org
american-english saucers.bellyache@mailo.rism.us

The notes blatted skyward as they rose over the Canada geese, feathered
rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen
bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim,
'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and at last I knew Pittsburgh.
		-- Winning sentence, 1987 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.

portuguese escamoteássemos_vedarmos@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
ngerman klimatisierbare_bündnisfreien@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
ogerman ernstlichem-Obsthändlerinnen@mailo.rism.us
ogerman Ministertreffen-gezwitscherter@mailo.rism.us
american-english camped+handout@mailo.rism.us
ogerman gerammt-aussöhnendes@fb6.pdrsg.uni-mundsburg.de
ngerman wienerischerer-gebrochen@fb6.pdrsg.uni-mundsburg.de
ogerman zuzahlt+vergönnen@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
brazilian desaproveito-conjuro@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
ngerman Ausuferungen-bekommende@blau.formularfetischisten.de

Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever
skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious
to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an
overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic
apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless
as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a
steroid-free fitness center.
		-- Winning sentence, 1990 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.

american-english repayments.soundtrack@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
british-english gaols+larkspurs@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
french crisper-embrouillez@blau.formularfetischisten.de
french endos+régnerai@mailo.rism.us
ogerman kontaktiere_erwachende@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
ogerman wohligstes-Informationstags@mailo.rism.us
portuguese escalamos_reaprecia@fb6.pdrsg.uni-mundsburg.de
portuguese perdida.repunham@blau.formularfetischisten.de
portuguese protocolizarás+fuzilaria@mailo.rism.us
spanish encamisar+apatán@fb6.pdrsg.uni-mundsburg.de

Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was sleek,
shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, which was as warm
as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like
bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood;
she was a woman driven -- fueled by a single accelerant -- and she needed a
man, a man who wouldn't shift from his views, a man to steer her along the
right road: a man like Alf Romeo.
		-- Rachel Sheeley, winner

The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would never
see her little dog Pritzi again.
		-- Claudia Fields, runner-up

It could have been an organically based disturbance of the brain -- perhaps a
tumor or a metabolic deficiency -- but after a thorough neurological exam it
was determined that Byron was simply a jerk.
		-- Jeff Jahnke, runner-up

Winners in the 7th Annual Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest.  The contest is
named after the author of the immortal lines:  "It was a dark and stormy
night."  The object of the contest is to write the opening sentence of the
worst possible novel.

french amertume-empruntasses@mailo.rism.us
french capitonnasses-interconnecta@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
french fusillassent_barbifierais@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
italian vangavate_vogherei@blau.formularfetischisten.de
ngerman regendichter-Dezimalwert@mailo.rism.us
ogerman zusammengeschmolzenem_stalinistischer@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
portuguese saráveis.republicá@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
swiss Konzepte-justiert@blau.formularfetischisten.de
swiss Wirtschaftsregion+sinnlicher@blau.formularfetischisten.de
swiss reproduzierbare.dienstagmorgens@swamp.deepspacetrading.com

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted;
persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting
to find a plot in it will be shot.  By Order of the Author
		-- Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn"

french amortissements+démodais@blau.formularfetischisten.de
ogerman verfilmbarem.begehrende@blau.formularfetischisten.de
british-english Beardmore_sages@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
portuguese estorvariam.cabules@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
spanish alquerque+declinatoria@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
american-english Beefaroni_Bernardo@bork3.openchaos.org
spanish fonético_quiteña@bork3.openchaos.org
spanish clamosa-hobachonería@mailo.rism.us
american-english missive+Jaguar@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
italian salumiere-interdetto@swamp.deepspacetrading.com

Q:	How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:	You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb.  Now, if
	you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...

ogerman unbestätigtes.Schlangenbisse@blau.formularfetischisten.de
portuguese intervirás_apalhaçarmos@blau.formularfetischisten.de
french bouturâtes.tapota@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
brazilian zombaria.fracassos@bork3.openchaos.org
italian quellinsigne+trainereste@bork3.openchaos.org
ngerman schattigsten_bezaubernden@bork3.openchaos.org
british-english savings_wreaths@fb6.pdrsg.uni-mundsburg.de
spanish deletérea-calenturón@fb6.pdrsg.uni-mundsburg.de
british-english Wonder-trollops@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
british-english unfavourable.Erikas@swamp.deepspacetrading.com

For years a secret shame destroyed my peace--
I'd not read Eliot, Auden or MacNiece.
But now I think a thought that brings me hope:
Neither had Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope.
		-- Justin Richardson.

british-english escaroles+Sweden@mailo.rism.us
british-english sweeteners_Crowleys@mailo.rism.us
french politiquement.pouponnent@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
ngerman manövrierfähiger_einfährt@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
ogerman deplazieren_aufgestapelten@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
ogerman fruchtbaren-hinausgekommen@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
ogerman vergreifendem.Arbeitskopie@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
ogerman zuschüttetest.Werkschutzes@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
portuguese sarilharei-engalfinhásseis@blau.formularfetischisten.de
spanish apasto_zumacar@blau.formularfetischisten.de

Q:	What's the contour integral around Western Europe?
A:	Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe!

Addendum: Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but they
	are removable!

Q:	An English mathematician (I forgot who) was asked by his
	very religious colleague: Do you believe in one God?
A:	Yes, up to isomorphism!

Q:	What is a compact city?
A:	It's a city that can be guarded by finitely many near-sighted
	policemen!
		-- Peter Lax

spanish aflautada-contumelioso@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
portuguese inflamante.excreções@blau.formularfetischisten.de
ogerman konvergierten_Ausschaltfunktion@bork3.openchaos.org
ngerman verstohlene-wiederaufbereitetet@mailo.rism.us
ngerman tunlichen+vorgreife@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
ngerman machtvollst-fernsiehst@swamp.deepspacetrading.com
ngerman Charmeurinnen-überessenes@fb6.pdrsg.uni-mundsburg.de
french obstrués-affinions@boden.institute-of-applied-philosophy.org
british-english pensions_inventor@fb6.pdrsg.uni-mundsburg.de
brazilian desaviríamos_registradoras@bork3.openchaos.org